* The Improv!
* Tour Schedule
* The Endpin! This month: Truly 'Alternative' Cello Music!
***
* Improv
As always, there are no electronic
effects on this two-cellos-overdubbed improv. There are some mechanical ones
though. Three "nut pickers" - corrugated pieces of metal I picked up
at a dollar store last year - are stuck in the strings. Somehow, the 'pickers
ended up on my windowsill here in my studio and about an hour ago, called out
to me. It's not easy to play a cello with nutpickers in the strings, but it is
kinda fun!
To gauge, gain insight upon, take
a gamble on, or drink a gallon of this gangly, gamy, garishly gaunt, garbled
gag, gaze no further than "this month's improv", or, gallop over to: http://www.wildcellist.com/improv_of_the_month.html
***
* Tour Schedule
(All dates are solo performances
unless otherwise specified)
There are some great shows on the
horizon, including Cellobration
(Spokane, WA) in Jan '09 and the '09 New Directions Cello Festival in Ithaca, NY, however for the near future I am
(deliberately) gig-less. When this changes, you, dear WCN subscriber, will be
the first to know!
***
* The Endpin!
Last November, I received an
unusual letter via registered mail from a retired professor, Dr Ian McTimon,
who taught me in university many years ago. It read, in part, “The letter you
now hold in your hands was ordered to be sent upon the event of my demise. It
is for your eyes only, and is confirmation that I have died before completing
my mission. I now entrust you with the means to accomplish what will change the
course of cello history, and perhaps that of the world”. A set of detailed
instructions followed. I was to contact someone who would allow me access to
the professor's private studio where, the letter explained, I would be privy to
information that no other person save himself had ever seen.
On a hastily-arranged flight to
Miami, the city in which Dr McTimon had lived, I had time to reflect on the
professor as I had known him over the years. From my very first lesson with
him, it was clear that, while he was excited about the traditional classical
repertoire that we cellists have to choose from - the Bach Unaccompanied
Suites, the concertos by Dvorak, Saint Saens, Schumann, and the myriad works
for cello and piano (to name a few) - he nevertheless consistently lamented the
fact that the so-called “great composers” - Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart, etc. -
did not write any cello concertos. (Compared to other instruments, the cello’s
concerto repertoire is quite thin. For example, Beethoven wrote five piano concertos,
while Mozart pumped out an impressive 27. Not to mention the fact that Mozart
also wrote several violin concertos. However, of the 18th & nineteenth
century composers, only Dvorak, Vivaldi, Bocherinni and scant others wrote for
cello in the concerto form.) The only other time in recent years that I heard
from my professor was back in 1995, the year that an unaccompanied work by
Sibelius (Theme & Variations in D Minor) was discovered. This was exciting to him, that much was
clear, but it was also one more opportunity for him to go into his usual rant
about cello concertos that don't exist. It was as if he was never going to give
up hope that somewhere, somehow, scores for these unwritten cello concertos
would materialize. “Cello concertos by the great composers are an important
part of our heritage,” he would say. “They are too important for them (the
"great composers") to have missed. There is simply no way that
Mozart, Brahms and Beethoven could have overlooked the significance, the raw
power, the sheer joy of concertos which only they could write”. And so it went.
My time of reflection came to an
end, as a cab dropped me off at McTimon’s villa on the outskirts of Miami, I
was met by someone whom I gathered had been in the professor’s employ for some
time. He ushered me to a basement door, then left me alone to decipher the
instructions for entering the studio which had been left for me. Before long, I
found myself in a small, brightly-lit room which was much more reminiscent of a
scientist’s laboratory than any sort of studio. To my shock and surprise, I
suddenly heard the professor’s voice, but then realized it was merely a
recording. He greeted me by name, then drew my attention to an unusual looking
screen, on which was what appeared to be a facsimile of a musical score from
centuries ago. “Your eyes are not deceiving you”, said the recording of the
professor. “That is indeed a rendering of the first page of the Beethoven
Cello Concerto”. Next to it were several
other screens. On one of them, I read Mozart Cello Concerto No. 12. “Number twelve!?”, I blurted out loud. As if in response,
the recording said, “Yes, number twelve. Mozart wrote 14 cello concertos in
total. However he did not write them here on our Earth, but rather on a world
very much like our own, which exists in a parallel dimension. It was my destiny
to find this music and bring it back to our world, where its unsurpassed beauty
would aid in the transformation from the insane course that humanity is now
pursuing, to one that is more life-affirming. Now, you must carry on what I was
unable to complete.”
There was a pause in which I took
a deep breath and tried to stop the spinning sensation which had overtaken me.
Then the voice continued: “I was unable to physically travel to Other Earth,
indeed, that is an impossibility, however I was able to observe the culture
there at length and acquire scans of many important works of music there.
Unfortunately the syngrystic daiazim - the ‘window’, as it were, which allows
us to observe Other Earth - will be closed now for another 302 years. In the
short time that I had, however, I was able to determine that there was a
counterpart there for each person on our Earth who has ever lived. I saw my own
counterpart, who was busy studying me... an odd experience to say the least!
Hearing this, you are no doubt curious about your own Other Earth self. Things
turned out differently for him. He calls himself ‘The Zealous Cellist’, and he
is a multi-billionaire, flying to his gigs in a solar-powered “Celloplane”. He
records not only the Improv of the Minute, but also broadcasts live each week on his immensely popular Cellos
on Fire network. His is a veritable Cello
Empire.
On Other Earth, Mozart's Cello
Concerto No. 12 is a revered, extremely
popular work, much like our Symphony no. 40, except a million times better; a piece that's known and
loved so universally that even people from non-western cultures have embraced
it. When Other Earth's version of the Voyager One Probe was sent up, the
Concerto was the only thing that was on the Golden Record - no voices in
various languages - nothing else. It was determined that the music pretty much
said it all as far as a message that humanity might want to deliver to the
stars. Now, this incredible piece, and indeed all of these great works for
cello, can be brought to people of our own world. Go now, make copies,
rehearse, record, and - ”
Suddenly, all the lights went out.
A power failure. When power had been restored a few minutes later, all but one
of the screens had gone dark. Unfortunately, the data was never recovered.
Computer experts toiled for months in an attempt to resurrect what was on the
screens, to no avail. The single first page of the Beethoven Cello Concerto was all that remained. It has since been discounted by
musical scholars & historians as little more than a forged joke; something
created for fun by a person with expertise in Photoshop®, that's now sent
around as an email attachment.
Was it real? Did Professor McTimon
make it all up? It is my sincere hope that it was real. I play the Seven Notes
- the only notes of the solo cello part that is on the surviving First Page -
every day. It's on Youtube now. Last time I checked it had been viewed four
times. Not exactly a world-changing, cultural phenomenon, but one never
knows..!
©2008 Corbin Keep
Note: the above is best read by
candlelight!
