WildCello Newsletter September 2011
* Improv!
* News!
* The Endpin! This month: WCN's first CelIinfomercial!
***
* Improv!
This improv started out in the usual way: a fun tuning on one of my "beater cellos" inspired me to record a simple line. I then immediately overdubbed a second part on top of it. Listening back, the music seemed like it needed something else. The book Ishmael by Daniel Quinn provided that something:
"It would seem...there's a sort of, tendency in evolution, wouldn't you say? If you start with those ultra-simple critters in the ancient seas and move up, step by step, to everything we see here now - and beyond - that you have to observe a tendency towards complexity and towards self-awareness and intelligence, wouldn't you agree? All sorts of creatures here seem to be on the verge of attaining that self-awareness and intelligence, so it's not just humans that the gods are after, we were never meant to be the only players on this stage. The gods intended this planet to be a garden filled with creatures that are self-aware and intelligent. Just think: in a billion years, whatever is around then - whoever is around then, says, "Man? Oh, yes, Man! What a wonderful creature he was! Man was the role model for us all."
To engage with this environmentally enchanting, endurably encouraging, enharmonically encrusted, entrancing endeavour, enlist here, or visit http://wildcellist.com/improv.php
News!
* Mel Watson & I (aka Mel & the Wild Cellist) have most of our new album written, and will be recording it this fall.
* It's been over two years two since I released a solo record. For my next one, the material is written, but is still being honed; recording will commence when I feel the material is ready. (last month, I was extremely pleased when an as-yet unrecorded song, You Got the Wrong Guy, was actually requested at a gig - maybe there is life after "Aliens"!)
* My friend Spider Robinson wrote a lovely review of my 2009 cd Bad to the Bow, but then proceeded to take the piss out of me in his latest podcast! Actually it was a well-deserved, and very loving lashing, in essence saying, "Corb, you're great, but your marketing skills suck!" So, yeah, it's been a month shy of a year since the last "monthly" newsletter, and yeah, seems that it is kinda hard to buy my latest cd, however I shall endeavour to improve in these functional areas! (btw, the podcast is definitely worth checking out!)
* One reason for the reduced output of this newsletter is that in the spring of 2010, yours truly became editor of Cello City Online, newsletter of the New Directions Cello Association. If you enjoy the cello (& why wouldn't you if you're reading this?!) you'll probably like CCO. Read the latest issue here.
* My muffin recipe - wait - no, scratch that, my muffins aren't very good. Ok, onward to the Endpin.
* The Endpin!
How often have you heard someone say that their favourite instrument is the cello? If you have anything at all to do with the cello, chances are it is a lot. As one cellist recently put it: "If I had a nickel for every time I've been told that, I'd have 1/3 less credit card debt!"
Despite its popularity, there are comparatively few cellos in the world, as opposed to guitars. Indeed, the number of guitars manufactured worldwide in a year runs into the millions, while cellos are but a fraction of that. Just about everyone has an acoustic guitar hanging around the house. It may get played on occasion, or completely neglected. Imagine if all of those guitars could become cellos! Would that not fulfill an unspoken dream of thousands, if not millions, of people? Assuming that they are telling the truth about the cello being their favourite, they'd jump at the chance of having a real cello of their own!
Now, for the low price of only $149 (plus $9.95 shipping and handling) an ordinary guitar can be quickly and easy transformed into a gorgeous, fully-functional cello!
Introducing the Guitar-to-Cello Conversion Kit!
You can order your very own Guitar-to-Cello Conversion Kit by submitting a Western Onion Money Order for $179.95 to:
Cello Conversions
Box 2, Area 51
Celluride, Colorado
81435
USSA
Allow 4-6 months for delivery.
Once you have received your G-to-C Conversion Kit:
1) Remove the strings of your guitar
2) Snap on the curved Neck Attachment onto the neck of your guitar.
3) Replace the nut with the one supplied (the nut is the small white piece that holds the strings in place; it is found up by the tuning pegs) Your new nut will be outfitted with spaces for 4 strings, rather than 6.
4) Place the supplied Bridge Unit in front of your guitar's bridge.
5) Affix the 4 supplied Cello Strings, taking care to slide them over the Bridge Unit, with the strings in their appropriate slots. This process will be made easier, if not easy, by referring to the cryptic, Ikea-inspired visual instructions that come with your Kit. (Note: your guitar's original tuning pegs will be used, however only 4 of them will be required)
6) Tune the strings, using the supplied Cello Tuner.
7) Clamp the Guit-Pin® onto the bottom of your guitar. The Guit-Pin® will be the endpin on your new cello. (the endpin is the adjustable spike located at the bottom of all cellos)
8) Put rosin on the bow by sliding it back and forth over the GTC Rosin (included).
9) Have fun playing your new Gello!
Additional accessories are available, such as F-Hole Decals, and CelloFaux® Styrofoam Padding, both of which are designed to make your transformed guitar look more cellistic - indeed, once you've affixed these babies onto your axe, only an extremely well-trained eye will be able to detect a difference between your modified guitar and a real cello! Add a special carrying case to your order ($3600.00 + S&H). The case, available in 47 colours, looks exactly like a real cello case from the outside, but on the inside, is specially contoured to fit your converted guitar.
Think of how your friends will be impressed! A ratty old guitar, transformed into a real cello!! Order today!
©2011 Corbin Keep
Note the above is best read with one eye, while your other eye scans for scam emails...
* News!
* The Endpin! This month: WCN's first CelIinfomercial!
***
* Improv!
This improv started out in the usual way: a fun tuning on one of my "beater cellos" inspired me to record a simple line. I then immediately overdubbed a second part on top of it. Listening back, the music seemed like it needed something else. The book Ishmael by Daniel Quinn provided that something:
"It would seem...there's a sort of, tendency in evolution, wouldn't you say? If you start with those ultra-simple critters in the ancient seas and move up, step by step, to everything we see here now - and beyond - that you have to observe a tendency towards complexity and towards self-awareness and intelligence, wouldn't you agree? All sorts of creatures here seem to be on the verge of attaining that self-awareness and intelligence, so it's not just humans that the gods are after, we were never meant to be the only players on this stage. The gods intended this planet to be a garden filled with creatures that are self-aware and intelligent. Just think: in a billion years, whatever is around then - whoever is around then, says, "Man? Oh, yes, Man! What a wonderful creature he was! Man was the role model for us all."
To engage with this environmentally enchanting, endurably encouraging, enharmonically encrusted, entrancing endeavour, enlist here, or visit http://wildcellist.com/improv.php
News!
* Mel Watson & I (aka Mel & the Wild Cellist) have most of our new album written, and will be recording it this fall.
* It's been over two years two since I released a solo record. For my next one, the material is written, but is still being honed; recording will commence when I feel the material is ready. (last month, I was extremely pleased when an as-yet unrecorded song, You Got the Wrong Guy, was actually requested at a gig - maybe there is life after "Aliens"!)
* My friend Spider Robinson wrote a lovely review of my 2009 cd Bad to the Bow, but then proceeded to take the piss out of me in his latest podcast! Actually it was a well-deserved, and very loving lashing, in essence saying, "Corb, you're great, but your marketing skills suck!" So, yeah, it's been a month shy of a year since the last "monthly" newsletter, and yeah, seems that it is kinda hard to buy my latest cd, however I shall endeavour to improve in these functional areas! (btw, the podcast is definitely worth checking out!)
* One reason for the reduced output of this newsletter is that in the spring of 2010, yours truly became editor of Cello City Online, newsletter of the New Directions Cello Association. If you enjoy the cello (& why wouldn't you if you're reading this?!) you'll probably like CCO. Read the latest issue here.
* My muffin recipe - wait - no, scratch that, my muffins aren't very good. Ok, onward to the Endpin.
* The Endpin!
How often have you heard someone say that their favourite instrument is the cello? If you have anything at all to do with the cello, chances are it is a lot. As one cellist recently put it: "If I had a nickel for every time I've been told that, I'd have 1/3 less credit card debt!"
Despite its popularity, there are comparatively few cellos in the world, as opposed to guitars. Indeed, the number of guitars manufactured worldwide in a year runs into the millions, while cellos are but a fraction of that. Just about everyone has an acoustic guitar hanging around the house. It may get played on occasion, or completely neglected. Imagine if all of those guitars could become cellos! Would that not fulfill an unspoken dream of thousands, if not millions, of people? Assuming that they are telling the truth about the cello being their favourite, they'd jump at the chance of having a real cello of their own!
Now, for the low price of only $149 (plus $9.95 shipping and handling) an ordinary guitar can be quickly and easy transformed into a gorgeous, fully-functional cello!
Introducing the Guitar-to-Cello Conversion Kit!
You can order your very own Guitar-to-Cello Conversion Kit by submitting a Western Onion Money Order for $179.95 to:
Cello Conversions
Box 2, Area 51
Celluride, Colorado
81435
USSA
Allow 4-6 months for delivery.
Once you have received your G-to-C Conversion Kit:
1) Remove the strings of your guitar
2) Snap on the curved Neck Attachment onto the neck of your guitar.
3) Replace the nut with the one supplied (the nut is the small white piece that holds the strings in place; it is found up by the tuning pegs) Your new nut will be outfitted with spaces for 4 strings, rather than 6.
4) Place the supplied Bridge Unit in front of your guitar's bridge.
5) Affix the 4 supplied Cello Strings, taking care to slide them over the Bridge Unit, with the strings in their appropriate slots. This process will be made easier, if not easy, by referring to the cryptic, Ikea-inspired visual instructions that come with your Kit. (Note: your guitar's original tuning pegs will be used, however only 4 of them will be required)
6) Tune the strings, using the supplied Cello Tuner.
7) Clamp the Guit-Pin® onto the bottom of your guitar. The Guit-Pin® will be the endpin on your new cello. (the endpin is the adjustable spike located at the bottom of all cellos)
8) Put rosin on the bow by sliding it back and forth over the GTC Rosin (included).
9) Have fun playing your new Gello!
Additional accessories are available, such as F-Hole Decals, and CelloFaux® Styrofoam Padding, both of which are designed to make your transformed guitar look more cellistic - indeed, once you've affixed these babies onto your axe, only an extremely well-trained eye will be able to detect a difference between your modified guitar and a real cello! Add a special carrying case to your order ($3600.00 + S&H). The case, available in 47 colours, looks exactly like a real cello case from the outside, but on the inside, is specially contoured to fit your converted guitar.
Think of how your friends will be impressed! A ratty old guitar, transformed into a real cello!! Order today!
©2011 Corbin Keep
Note the above is best read with one eye, while your other eye scans for scam emails...